Special Delivery Part 7: Answering Spencer

If you haven’t already, read the previous six posts in this series so you understand the specific replies to this email from a reader.

“I'm a pretty blunt person in my LD speeches, and part of that probably comes from a strong background in team policy. Although I try my best to not be aggressive, sometimes I think I come across as aggressive.”

Aggressiveness is a major part of passion (specialized skill). If you’re sincere enough, you can be very aggressive and the judge will get fired up too. In other words: aggressiveness can be a good thing when used properly. Only tone it down if the judges are calling you out on it.

“I usually get relatively high speaker points (usually top 5 speaker). Judge comments are always like, "clear and organized,"

Organization is universal.

"very professional,"

That’s a positive gravitas comment!

"strong CX."

That could mean a lot of things.

Often, my opponents (guys and girls) will get comments like "great likability" and they'll end up with the win (even if I got higher speaker points from the judges and seemingly won the arguments). I feel like I'm losing because I'm coming off as "aggressive" compared to my "likable" opponent.

Go back through your ballots. Pay close attention to anywhere the judge suggests she doesn’t like you. There may be subtle cues hidden in the reason for decision. Remember: it’s fine if the judge likes your opponent more, as long as you’re delivering on your own specialized strength.

The judge calling you “professional” is great, by the way. It’s the kind of thing a judge says when she thinks you’re very credible and doesn’t actively dislike you.

It seems like there's a difference between having high speaker points and being likable in a judge's eyes. I've read somewhere that humor can help likability, but I've tried cracking a few jokes and they either come off as awkward or sarcastic, so humor doesn't seem like a great tactic for me.

If you’re winning on points and in the reason for decision but still losing the round, likability is probably a factor. Your goal is to fix your likability by smoothing out the rough edges in your delivery. More on that in the next post.

If humor was the right approach for you, you wouldn’t have to force it. Sounds like you are among the half of speakers who should avoid it altogether. Instead, pick one of the other skills to cultivate.

Gravitas is probably the easiest fit for you, but coaching sessions are the only way to know for sure.

Thanks Ace Peak Team! You guys are awesome. - Spencer

So are you. Thanks for a great question, Spencer. We look forward to hearing from you again.

In the final post in the series, we’ll offer some specific ideas on how to fix your likeability.

Joseph AbellComment