I was hired by tournament staff to write the Parli resolutions, impromptu topics, and extemp questions for the recent Green Country Challenge tournament in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Here are the impromptu topics utilized at the tournament. We’ve got the parli resolutions coming soon!

Tournament staff: I would love to help write prompts for your tournament. Contact me at drew@acepeak.org if you’re interested.

Impromptu Topics:

Round 1: The Art of War

“Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.” - Sun Tzu

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.” - Sun Tzu

“The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.” - Sun Tzu

“If you know Heaven and know Earth, you may make your victory complete.” - Sun Tzu

“When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard.” - Sun Tzu

“When the enemy is relaxed, make them toil. When full, starve them. When settled, make them move.” - Sun Tzu

“There are not more than five primary colours, yet in combination they produces more hues than can ever be seen.” - Sun Tzu

“One may know how to conquer without being able to do it.” - Sun Tzu

“The wise warrior avoids the battle.” - Sun Tzu

“Plan for what is difficult while it is easy, do what is great while it is small.” - Sun Tzu

“When your army has crossed the border, you should burn your boats and bridges in order to make it clear to everybody that you have no hankering after home.” - Sun Tzu

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, your victory will not stand in doubt.” - Sun Tzu

Round 2: Advertising Slogans

“The breakfast of champions” - Wheaties

“Just do it.” - Nike

“I’m lovin’ it.” - McDonalds

“Where’s the beef?” - Wendy’s

“Get Allstate. And be protected from mayhem, like me.” - Allstate

“Think different.” - Apple

“Because I’m worth it.” - L’Oreal

“Betcha can’t eat just one.” - Lay’s Potato Chips

“The relentless pursuit of perfection.” - Lexus

“Every kiss begins with Kay.” - Kay Jewelers

“Only you can prevent forest fires.” - Smokey the Bear

“Think small.” - Volkswagen

Round 3: The Stoics

“It isn’t manly to be enraged.” - Marcus Aurelius

“The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” - Marcus Aurelius

“If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters.” - Epictetus

“If some regard you as important, distrust yourself.” - Epictetus

“I learned to read carefully and not be satisfied with a rough understanding of the whole, and not to agree too quickly with those who have a lot to say about something.” - Marcus Aurelius

“Let’s pass over to the really rich--how often the occasions they look just like the poor!” - Seneca

“For this is what makes us evil--that none of us looks back upon our own lives.” - Seneca

“Your principles can’t be extinguished unless you snuff out the thoughts that feed them.” - Marcus Aurelius

“A podium and a prison is each a place, one high and the other low, but in either place your freedom of choice can be maintained if you so wish.” - Epictetus

“The person in training must seek to rise above, so as to stop seeking out pleasure and steering away from pain; to stop clinging to living and abhorring death; and in the case of property and money, to stop valuing receiving over giving.” - Musonius Rufus

“There is only one path to happiness, and that is in giving up all outside of your sphere of choice, regarding nothing else as your possession, surrendering all else to God and fortune.” - Epictetus

“What then can pollute and clog the mind’s proper functioning? Nothing but its own corrupt decisions.” - Epictetus

Semifinals: The Onion

“Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day” - The Onion

“Rural Nebraskan Not Sure He Could Handle Frantic Pace Of Omaha.” - The Onion

“World Death Rate Holding Steady At 100 Percent” - The Onion

“Friends of Band Regret Going To Show” - The Onion

“Exercise Ball All The Way Over There.” - The Onion

“Drugs Win Drug War” - The Onion

“450,000 Unsold Earth Day Issues of Time Trucked To Landfill.” - The Onion

“Area Man Passionate Defender of What He Imagines Constitution to Be.” - The Onion

“Pop Culture Expert Surprisingly Not Ashamed of Self.” - The Onion

“Study: Dolphins Not So Intelligent on Land.” - The Onion

“World’s Scientists Admit They Just Don’t Like Mice.” - The Onion

“Winner Didn’t Even Know It Was Pie-Eating Contest” - The Onion

Finals: Renaissance Artists

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” - Michelangelo

“Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.” - Michelangelo

“Genius is eternal patience.” - Michelangelo

“When one is painting, one does not think.” - Raphael

“Death and love are the two wings that bear the good man to heaven.” - Michelangelo

“While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.” - Leonardo Da Vinci

“Time is a vindictive bandit to steal the beauty of our former selves.” - Raphael

“Learning never exhausts the mind.” - Leonardo Da Vinci

“The human heart is as a frail craft on which we wish to reach the stars.” - Giotto di Bondone

“Every painting is a voyage into a sacred harbour.” - Giotto di Bondone

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” - Leonardo Da Vinci

“The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.” - Leonardo Da Vinci